Verse 1 A Well, the church burned down and no one knew D What the Pentecost Baptists was gonna do A The Sunday brimstone got so dadgum hot E It burned up a church bus in the parkin' lot A In a panic the reverend Dr. White D Called up an ex-member than hadn't lived right A He owned Joe's beer joint right across the fence E It's the same Joe's he'd preached against Verse 2 A He said I don't really want to be a hypocrite D I got a Sunday school class that's about to s**t A We're all excited about revival week E And moved by the spirit so to speak A With all the souls we saved and the money we spent D We thought God told us to sell that tent A I got a famous evangelist supposed to come E And done run out of chairs, will you loan us some? Verse 3 A Joe says hell you can just use the whole dang place D A9 on the jukebox "Amazing Grace" A I ain't supposed to open because of them blue laws E But we'll open tonight if it's alright with y'all A Preacher said well I reckon that'd be OK D The good Lord works in mysterious ways A I was gonna talk about Joshua, Judges and Ruth E And I reckon I can do it from the DJ booth Chorus 1 A At the First Baptist Bar and Grill D It's the only church in the bible belt that E smells like a whiskey still A When the sinners finish one more round D We'll have dinner on the ground A E pause And go inside and hell A pray we don't get killed Verse 4 A The Evangelist came with a well-dressed choir D They showed up around happy hour A Looked around the joint and didn't take it real well E said the White ministry has gone to hell A Ms. Mills that taught youth Sunday school D And two deacons in the back room shootin' pool A Were sharin' the Lord with a Jim Beam rep E Who was teachin' Ms. Mills some line dance steps Verse 5 A Reverend White was readin' from the book of Luke D To a tall, drunk trucker about to puke A He had John 3:16 memorized E Tryin' to dry him out to get him baptised A The evangelist yelled about the lights and the beer D Said White you can't save any souls in here A This place ain't nothin' but a den of sin E Ain't the kind of place Baptists ought to be in A Preacher said well we don't really need y'all here D You didn't do a very good job last year A Only saved one sinner, that's Todd McGuire E And he's the little son of a b***h that set my church on fire A Joe's beer joint has done been revived D Only been here an hour and I done saved five. A Sure it's got mirrors and a big dance floor E But I finally found the flock God called me for. Chorus 2 A At the First Baptist Bar and Grill D It's the only church in the bible belt E that smells like a whiskey still A Not a stained glass window anywhere in site, D Just a blood-stained floor and neon lights, A EPAUSE And the communion wine A is always chilled. Verse 6 A We're here every Sunday; We're livin' large; D We're the only church with a cover charge. A And if you don't like our doctrine EPAUSE and think we ain't devout, We'll have our bouncer throw your butt out ? A D E A Of the First Baptist Bar and Grill