(Brel/Jouannest/Shuman) Intro: Gm Dm x4 Verse 1 Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm And if one day I should become a singer with a Spanish bum Dm Gm Dm Who sings for women of great virtue Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm I'd sing to them with a guitar I'd borrowed from a coffee bar Dm Gm Dm Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you! G Gmaj7 Gmaj6 My name would be Antonio and all my bridges I would burn Gmaj7 G Am Dm And when I gave them some they'd know I'd expect something in return Am Am(maj7) Am7 I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility Am6 B7 With some old Grandmama who might be decked out like a Christmas tree Em Bm Em Bm Em And though pink elephants I'd see, though I'd be drunk as I could be Bm Em Am7 G Still I would sing my song to me about the time they called me Jackie Chorus G Gmaj7 GmajGmaj7 If I could be for only an hour G Gmaj7 Am D If I could be for an hour every day Am Am(maj7) Am7 Am6 If I could be for just one little hour D Dm A cute cute in a stupid-assed way Verse 2 Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm And if I joined the social world, became procurer of young girls Dm Gm Dm Then I would have my own bordellos Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm My record would be number one and I'd sell records by the ton Dm Gm Dm All sung by many other fellows G Gmaj7 Gmaj6 My name would then be Handsome Jack and I'd sell boats of opium Gmaj7 G Am7 D Dm7 Whisky that came from Twickenham, authentic queers and phoney virgins Am Am(maj7) Am7 If I had banks on every finger, a finger in every country Am6 B7 And all the countries ruled by me I'd still know where I'd want to be Em Bm Em Bm Em Locked up inside my opium den surrounded by some Chinamen Bm Em Am7 G I'd sing the song that I sang then about the time they called me Jackie repeat chorus Verse 3 Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm Now tell me wouldn't it be nice that if one day in Paradise Dm Gm Dm I'd sing for all the ladies up there Gm Dm Gm Dm Gm And they would sing along with me, we'd be so happy, that'd be Dm Gm Dm 'Cos down below is really nowhere G Gmaj7 Gmaj6 And if my name were Juniper and I would know where I was going Gmaj7 G Am7 D Dm7 And I would become all-knowing, my beard so very long and flowing Am Am(maj7) Am7 If I became deaf, dumb and blind because I pitied all mankind Am6 And broke my heart to make things right B7 I'd know that every single night Em Bm Em Bm Em When my angelic work was through the angels and the Devil too Bm Em Am7 G Would sing my childhood song to me about the time they called me Jackie repeat chorus Gm Dm x4 end on G