E F* G* e--0-----0-----0--- b--0-----0-----0--- g--1-----2-----4--- d--2-----4-----6--- a--x-----x-----x--- e--x-----x-----x--- E F G F Hello Dan, it's Joe here, I hope you're keeping well E F G F It's the 21st of December, and now they're ringing the last bell A B A B If I get good behaviour, I'll be out of here by July E F G F Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas Day, please don't let 'em cry for E F Me E F G I guess the brothers are driving down from Queensland and Stella's F flying in from the coast E F G They say it's gonna be a hundred degrees, even more maybe, but that F won't stop the roast A B A B Who's gonna make the gravy now? I bet it won't taste the same E F G Just add flour, salt, a little red wine and don't forget a dollop of F tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang E F And give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly, G F Tell 'em all I'm sorry I screwed up this time. E F And look after Rita, I'll be thinking of her G F E F early Christmas morning When I stand in line E F G F I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend, I hope he can hold his own E F Do you remember the last one? What was his name again? G F (Just a little too much cologne) A B And Roger, you know I'm even gonna miss Roger A B 'Cause there's sure as hell no one in here I want to fight E F Oh praise the Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas, G F I'm really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash E F And later in the evening, I can just imagine, G F You'll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back E F G And you'll dance with Rita, I know you really like her, Just don't hold F her too close, oh brother please don't stab me in the back E F I didn't mean to say that, it's just my mind it plays up, G F Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact E F You know I love her badly, she's the one to save me, G F E F I'm gonna make some gravy, I'm gonna taste the fat E F G Tell her that I'm sorry, yeah I love her badly, tell 'em all I'm sorry, F And kiss the sleepy children for me E F You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy, G F E F G F (cont.) I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back.