Capo on 4th fret (Key of B) Strumming pattern: GCGGAD7 e|-------3-------3---------------3-------3-------3---------------2---|| B|-------3-------3-------1-------3-------3-------3-------2-------1---|| G|-------0-------0-------0-------0-------0-------0-------0-------2---|| D|-------0-------0-------2-------0-------0-------0-------2---0-------|| A|-------2-------2---3---3-------2-------2-------2---0---------------|| E|---3---3---3---3-----------3---3---3---3---3---3-------------------|| * * * * * * * * The *'s represent thumb strokes that make up the bass line. This pattern is kept throughout the song. (Verse 1) G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long G A7 D7 My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong G C G My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all G D G Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call? C D G Siiiiigned Bewildered G C G Bewildered, Bewildered, you have no complaint G A7 D7 You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't G C G So listen up buster and listen up good G D G Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood CDG (Verse 2) G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks G A7 D7 My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks G C G Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed G D G If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead C D G Siiiiigned Unhappy G C G Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint G A7 D7 You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't G C G So listen up buster and listen up good G D G Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood CDG (Verse 3) G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this G A7 D7 But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss G C G My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head G D G But my stomach tells me to write you instead C D G Siiiiigned Noisemaker G C G Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you have no complaint G A7 D7 You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't G C G So listen up buster and listen up good G D G Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood CDG (Verse 4) G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought G A7 D7 That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught G C G We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze G D G With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees C D G Siiiiigned Just Married G C G Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint G A7 D7 You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't G C G So listen up buster and listen up good G D G Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood C D G Siiiiigned Dear Abbby