This is exactly how Hank plays it. It's pretty simple.
Intro: C G C G C
Verse 1:
CG
There's a place where you don't wanna be
CG
Where people die constantly
CG
And they never die in normal ways
CG
It's preposterous but still cliche
Bridge 1:
CG
When your drug dealer's aunt kills your mom in a duel
C NC
By chopping off her head with a scythe in a pool
D
Well they're not saying it makes sense
E
They're just interpreting the evidence
Chorus:
CG
This is the plot to every television crime show
CCG
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
CG
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
CG
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
Verse 2:
CG
There was semen all over the crime scene
CG
So they use the super-fancy semen testing machine
CG
And the DNA database gets a hit
CG
But it looks like he might still get away with it
Bridge 2:
CG
But the final piece of evidence
CC
Totally stumps the bad guy's defense
D
And he breaks down in front of everyone
E
And tells them exactly how it was done
Chorus:
CG
This is the plot to every television crime show
CCG
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
CG
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
CG
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
Interlude: C
Verse 3:
CG
By the middle of the first season
CG
Murder is eclipsed by sexual tension
CG
And I guess that probably happens a lot
CG
Since crime-solving people are always so hot
Bridge 3:
CG
But then a serial killer kidnaps the girl
CC
And they promise to save her if it costs them the world
D
And they find her two seconds before she dies
E
And they hug and they laugh and they screw and they cry
Chorus:
CG
This is the plot to every television crime show
CCG
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
CG
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
CG
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
*End on C*
That was a one-taker... take one-r... one... one-i-fier...
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