(Intro Bb Eb Bb Eb) Bb Eb There was one in the gang who had Scalextric Bb Eb And because of that he thought he was better than you Bb Eb Every day after school you?d go round there to play it Bb Eb Hoping to compete for some kind of championship Bb Eb But it always took about fifteen billion hours to set the track up Bb Eb Eb And even when you did the thing never seemed to work Bb Eb It was a dodgy transformer again and again Bb Eb A dodgy transformer again and again Bb Eb It was a dodgy transformer again and again Bb Eb Eb A dodgy transformer that cost three pound ten Bb Eb So he?d send his doting mother up the stairs with the stepladders Bb Eb To get the Subbuteo out of the loft Bb Eb He had all the accessories required for that big match atmosphere Bb Eb The crowd and the dugout and the floodlights too Bb Eb You?d always get palmed off with a headless centre forward Bb Eb Eb And a goalkeeper with no arms and a face like his Bb Eb And he?d managed to get hold of a Dukla Prague away kit Bb Eb Cos his uncle owned a sports shop and he?d kept it to one side Bb Eb And after only five minutes you?d be down to ten men Bb Eb Cos he?d sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger Bb Eb And come to half time you were losing four-nil Bb Eb Each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty Bb Eb So you?d smash up the floodlights and the match was abandoned Bb Eb And the dog would bark and you?d be banned from his house Bb Eb And your travelling army of synthetic supporters Bb Eb Eb Would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin Bb Eb Now he?s working in a job with a future Bb Eb He hands me my Giro every two weeks Bb Eb And me I?m on the lookout for a proper transformer ?errr