Bb F Dragging my guitar 'round maternity ward Bb F I was in search of the umbilical chord Bb F But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train Bb F And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio Bb F Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong Ab Db Ab And they said "beware - there's an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house Db Ab In there, an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house, some man Db Ab Who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in Db Bb F And left his Albert Hammond bootleg in the house". Bb F Talking to a girl on the south coast of France Bb F She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance Bb F But on the last night 'neath the stars of Marseilles Bb F She said that Robin Askwith was funny. Ab Db Ab Oh God, how I longed for a dangerous wave Db Ab So I could surf myself towards an early grave Db Ab I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you Db Bb F I hope your plane back home's a DC 10. Ab Db Ab Oh God, how I longed for a dangerous wave Db Ab So I could surf myself towards an early grave Db Ab I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you Db Ab I hope your plane back home's a DC 10. DAb Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh DAb Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh DAb Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Db Db Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh really. Db Ab Db Ab Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird Db Ab Db Ab And I asked him what Petrified Forests see to make them all so scared.